Waiting

April 10, 2008

Jesus is coming back.  He said He would (Jn. 14:3).  Some people say it could be at any moment.  Some people can hardly wait.

I can.

Maybe it’s just Protestant guilt, but I’m just not sure what the verdict on my life so far will be.  Will Jesus say, “Well done, good and faithful servant”? (Mt. 25:21)  Or will I “…be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames”? (1 Cor. 3:15)  I trust that even the halting faith that I have is sufficient to keep me out of Hell, because my faith is a gift from God.  He has chosen me; I have not chosen Him (Jn. 15:16).  And His choice cannot be unmade by me or anyone else.  But I do have a will of my own, and the Bible promises that we will be rewarded for the good we have chosen to do (1 Cor 3:14).  But what have I done?  Have I invested what the Master has given me, or have I buried it in the ground out of fear (see Mt. 25:14-30)?  I suspect I could have done more with my past and I hope I will have the strength to do more with my future.  For the present, though, I’d like a little more time.

Strengthen my hands to do the work You have called me to, O Lord.  Amen.

Jesus Air

Life and work have kept me too busy the past few weeks to post anything on my blog, but I’ve been writing during spare moments in quiet corners.  Hopefully I’ll be able to get some of that writing posted here soon.  Here’s the first:

April 10, 2008

It has been a long time since I’ve been on an airplane — years before 9/11.  Even then, going through an airport was a nerve-wracking experience.  Today the security people seem a little more grim, and I had to take off my shoes, but otherwise it’s not very different.  There’s just something about the whole air travel system that is daunting.  I think it’s that feeling that you’re putting your life in someone else’s hands.  That feeling starts right at check-in:  whether you will be able to even set out on your journey depends on the person checking your ticket.  And even that is dependent upon an airplane and a pilot being available at all.  Today I am flying American Airlines, which has been all over the news because of the thousands of flights they had to cancel due to maintenance issues.  I am fortunate:  my airplane is not of the type affected by the problem, and is set to take off nearly on schedule.  Scratch that:  they just announced that my plane has “a maintenance issue” and will be delayed by 50 minutes.  A friendly gate attendant changed my connecting flight, which I would surely have missed, and now I will be arriving at my destination about three hours later than I intended.  That’s just what I’m talking about:  my life is in someone else’s hands.

Of course, my life is always in someone else’s hands — I just don’t usually notice it so much.  No one x-rays my bags when I drive somewhere, but I still depend on all the other drivers to obey the traffic laws.  But I have more choices when I drive:  I choose the departure time; I choose the route.  Today my choices are more limited.  Suddenly I have lots of time on my hands, but what can I do with it?  I can write, I can work the puzzles I brought, and I can make phone calls — at least, as long as my phone’s battery holds up.  I can wander around the airport (within certain limits) and buy overpriced stuff.  That’s about it, really.

The obvious spiritual segue here is that we are all dependent on God, even though it usually seems like we are taking care of ourselves.  But what really strikes me sitting here is how much easier it is for me to put my life in the hands of a pilot and lots of supporting personnel whom I’ve never met than to put it in the hands of God.  Why is that?  Why is it so hard to pray — honestly — “Thy Will be done”?

Maybe it’s because so many people who have been “sold out for Jesus” have endured derision, poverty and torture — and sometimes have been executed in the most brutal ways.  Sometimes airplanes crash despite everyone’s best intentions, but God does not make mistakes, nor is He ever caught by surprise.  And not only does He not promise His followers a life of ease, but He promises that “in this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33) and says “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)  Putting one’s trust in God is less like flying to a vacation destination on a commercial airline than like flying on a military aircraft into a war zone.

Hang on boys, this could be rough.

Keeping Score

One of the first things I do whenever I check on my blog is to look at the blog stats.  I am saying this not merely as a statement of fact, but as a confession.  I am amazed at how easily I am lured into keeping score.

Oh, I can rationalize (and how!) that it’s no sin to be informed as to one’s own blog traffic.  But my emotions betray my true motivation:  I am excited when I see that the number of views is up, and I am disappointed when the number is down.  Already I have begun to evaluate my self-worth (at least in part) by the popularity of my blog.  Already I am tempted to make decisions as to how I will manage this blog based on what effect it will have on my traffic.  Already it’s all about me.

This weekend the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy was playing on the TV at my house.  These movies do a masterful job of illustrating the effect of temptation on people and on all of their relationships and activities — a masterful job of showing me myself.  No one has ever offered me anything like the Ring of Power, but I have seen glimpses of what I would become if someone did.  It isn’t pretty.

Lead us not into temptation, Lord, but deliver us from evil.  For Thine –  and not mine – is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever.  Amen.